Hold On

Apologies to my regular readers expecting a New Moon post this week: there won’t be one. Like many others, I am still having a difficult time coming to terms with the events of earlier this month.

As I described to a friend earlier today: I frankly don't understand how anyone is managing to not be totally devastated. It's haunting me every hour. I'm thankful that people are managing, don't get me wrong. I'm also thankful for the emerging resistance, especially Gov. Newsom; for the incompetence of the prez-elect and his cronies, which will slow down their campaign of terror; and for the various other silver linings.

In time, perhaps, I will see things in a more positive light. But it's hurting me beyond expression that this could happen. The racism and misogyny behind the white vote, and the male vote. The persistent thread of patriarchy especially that poisons our species, and whose effects we seem unable to shake off, even a little. The many efforts of progress in opposition to the status quo defenders that will now be undone. The fact that life is necessarily going to become harder, nastier, more brutal and cruel, less compassionate, when we so desperately, desperately need a softer world. And the dread that we have brought all this on ourselves and are in fact unable in our nature to rise above the animal in us and create that world for everyone.

My heart is broken, though I believe in the duty to keep fighting, to refuse to give in; and so long as I have a channel through which I may resist the apparently encroaching evil, I will use it. (Brief aside: dear Black sisters, I agree heartily with those among you who claim the right to sit this one out, if you can. I hope it is possible. It’s up to the rest of us now.) Besides this consciousness of responsibility, it feels easy to give in to despair. I have a long period of processing, grieving and healing ahead before the way forward becomes clear enough to embark on it. I want those of you reading this who are feeling similarly to know I see you; you are not alone, and you are loved.

I am not sure what the future holds for any of us, but I know that while even the tiniest sliver of hope persists, the good of this world can prevail.

Signing off for now with a choral piece featuring the magnificent Bobby McFerrin. Much love to you all.